Read 1Peter 3:1-7…
1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.
3 Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;
6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.
7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

"In the same way" (1Peter 3:1, 7). This is referencing what we studied last week (1Peter 2:13-17), that Christians are to be subject to every authority instituted among men, i.e., local and national civil authority; also (1Peter 3:18-20) we are to be subject to those over us in the work place, i.e., employers, supervisors, etc.

1Peter 2:13-17
13 Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority,
14 or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right.
15 For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.
16 Act as free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use it as bondslaves of God.
17 Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.

1Peter 3:18-20
18 For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit;
19 in which also He went and made proclamation to the spirits now in prison,
20 who once were disobedient, when the patience of God kept waiting in the days of Noah, during the construction of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through the water.

See Ephesians 5:22-33…
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,
26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
30 because we are members of His body.
31 FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.
32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

The Bible teaches that the husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the head the church, which is His own body. Wives should always put their husbands first, just as the church puts Christ first, and husbands are to love their wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave His own life for her.

Marriage is to be honored above all human relationships, because the foundation of marriage was ordained and established by God at the very beginning of creation.

The relationship between a husband and wife is symbolic of the relationship each Christian has with God through Christ; and just as Christ is the Head of the Church, His Body, a husband is to be the head of his wife (Ephesians 5:28-30).

Ephesians 5:28-30
28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;
29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,
30 because we are members of His body.

Ephesians 5:31
31 FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.

In verse 31 Paul quotes Genesis 2:24,

Genesis 2:24
24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

And then Ephesians 5:32-33 he says,
32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

Mark 10:6-9,
6 But from the beginning of creation, God MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE.
7 FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER,
8 AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.
9 What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Hebrews 13:4,
4 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

God determined that a marriage is made up of one man and one woman who are committed faithfully to one another; and anyone who defiles that relationship should be punished. Let’s look at an example:

1Corinthians 5:1-5,
1 It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and immorality of such a kind as does not exist even among the Gentiles, that someone has his father’s wife.
2 You have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst.
3 For I, on my part, though absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged him who has so committed this, as though I were present.
4 In the name of our Lord Jesus, when you are assembled, and I with you in spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus,
5 I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

1Corinthians 5:9-13,
9 I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people;
10 I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world.
11 But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler--not even to eat with such a one.
12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church?
13 But those who are outside, God judges. REMOVE THE WICKED MAN FROM AMONG YOURSELVES.

Christian marriage is meant to be a beautiful example of the fellowship and unity that exists between the Father and the Son, the Son and His Church, and the Husband and his Wife (1Corinthians 11:3).

1Corinthians 11:3
3 But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.

In the NT times, outside of the Christian community, women weren't treated with much respect; in fact, they were considered to be about equal to servants. According to the earliest available Hebrew prayer books, many “devout” Jewish men would pray each morning, “God, thank you that I am not a Gentile, a slave, or a woman.” How arrogant, prideful, unbiblical, and unloving that prayer is.

The truth is, in Christ, in the Church, God’s people are equal in all respects concerning salvation, worth, giftedness, and inheritance (Galatians 3:26-28).

Galatians 3:26-28
26 For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.
27 For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

And yet, the Word of God demands that wives be treated with honor and respect. Yes, wives are to voluntarily align or rank themselves under their husband's leadership; but this is done not because the husband is somehow more intelligent or skilled than the wife, this is done because God commands it and because the order of creation itself demands it.

1Timothy 2:13,
13 For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.

God’s instructions were given to Adam, not to Eve (Genesis 2:16-18).

Genesis 2:16-18
16 The LORD God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely;
17 but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.”
18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

Genesis 2:21-24
21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.
22 The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

Read 1Peter 3:1-2…
1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

Peter doesn't tell the believing wife to leave her unsaved husband, nor is she told to preach at him; but instead, her behavior is to serve as an example of Christ in that marriage, so that maybe her husband will come to a saving knowledge of
Christ.

Read 1Peter 3:3-6…
3 Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses;
4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.
5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;
6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

It is the woman's inner beauty, her willful submission in respecting her husband, her modesty (in that she is not preoccupied with outward looks to the detriment of her inward character, and then there is also her gentle and quiet spirit, which is not only a witness to her husband, but is highly valued by God.

Peter references the godly adornment (inner beauty) of certain OT women, e.g., Sarah, who was submissive to her husband Abraham, trusting in his leadership. Sarah serves as the model of a godly woman who showed respect toward her husband Abraham's headship.

All true believers are children of Abraham by faith.

Romans 4:3,
3 For what does the Scripture say? “ABRAHAM BELIEVED GOD, AND IT WAS CREDITED TO HIM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS.”

Romans 4:9,
9 Is this blessing then on the circumcised, or on the uncircumcised also? For we say, “FAITH WAS CREDITED TO ABRAHAM AS RIGHTEOUSNESS.”

Romans 4:16-18
16 For this reason it is by faith, in order that it may be in accordance with grace, so that the promise will be guaranteed to all the descendants, not only to those who are of the Law, but also to those who are of the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all,
17 (as it is written, “A FATHER OF MANY NATIONS HAVE I MADE YOU”) in the presence of Him whom he believed, even God, who gives life to the dead and calls into being that which does not exist.
18 In hope against hope he believed, so that he might become a father of many nations according to that which had been spoken, “SO SHALL YOUR DESCENDANTS BE.”

Galatians 3:29
29 And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendants, heirs according to promise.

In the same way, all believing women who follow Sarah's example of submission are called her "daughters" if they "do what is right and do not give in to fear." What does that mean? Well, our society pressures women into rejecting their god given roles as mothers and rejecting their husband’s role as head of the family; however, God's Word exhorts Christian wives to "do what is right,” to respect their husband while exhibiting a gentle and quiet spirit, in order to be a witness to him for Christ, and an example to others of what pleases God.

Read 1Peter 3:7…
7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

Peter now turns his attention to a Christian husband's responsibility before God, to be understanding concerning his wife’s deepest needs, i.e., physical, emotional, spiritual and relational; whether she is a believer or an unbeliever the husband is to be actively and genuinely sensitive toward her, caring for, respecting and cherishing her.

A Christian husband is to be chivalrous toward his wife, notice I did not say chauvinistic or misogynistic, but chivalrous [courteous, respectful, heroic]. God, through Peter, says that the wife, since she is a woman, is considered to be the weaker partner, speaking about physical strength.

The simple truth of biology and anatomy is that for the most part, mean are usually stronger than women; and therefore, a Christian husband is to serve as both provider and protector for his wife; but I would highly suggest to you husbands that, if your wife has a black belt in karate, and you are feeling puny or physically indisposed when you and your wife are attacked, let her deal with the bad guys while you dial 911.

Peter says a husband is to cultivate a sincere and genuine companionship with his wife, and he is to honor her as a fellow heir of God's wonderful grace of life, marriage, and family.

A Christian husband is to love and respect his own wife; if he does not, his prayers may very well be hindered; and since his prayers would most likely include appeals for her salvation, if she is an unbeliever, it is very important that he obey God’s exhortation in this, so that he and his wife might know God’s blessings.

A Christian husband is to be generous and gracious, as he loves and cherishes his wife. He is to put aside his own wants, needs, and comforts if that is what is required to meet her needs. A husband who loves his wife “as Christ loved the church” will find that his wife has a much easier time respectfully submitting to his leadership, if he earnestly treats her with love, kindness, and respect.

God wrote the manual on marriage. He commands husbands to love their wives, and wives to respect their husbands. When husbands and wives walk in the power of the Holy Spirit, yielding to the authority of the Word of God -- not only will they experience God’s love, joy, peace, and happiness; but their children will be blessed, God’s church will be strengthened, and God will receive the glory, honor, praise and worship, that He alone deserves.

Pastor Mike Hale
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Topics: marriage